fear, fear, fear… fear! E N O U G H!
When you constantly hear for thirty years of your life that you’re the “shit-ass son,” you build a lot of walls to stay safe–every brick carefully laid within a mortar blanket of fear, insecurity, loss of hope, or worthlessness.
Perhaps that’s why I make beautiful art images from dark and dramatic scenes, ripe with conflict and contrast between light and shadows. I think it’s a reflection of the beauty God Is making within a dark and dramatic soul.
Thankfully, I’ve (unintentionally) placed myself into a life situation where I have no choice but to confront and conquer those fears and insecurities in order to reach my dreams. It’s scary; some days a flat friggin’ battle. But I’m so damn happy and content most days that I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be. Certainly not at some J.O.B., making my narcissistic boss rich, all the while being labeled the “New Product Bitch.” Really Bruno?
And no, my joy is not a mask. My closest friends know I don’t do ‘mask.’ I can’t explain the feelings nor do I try – they make little sense to me, much less someone else. I simply go with the tide each day.
It’s not fun facing my demons of the past, but when I’m backed into a corner and have a great support system in the form of a few friends, I like my odds. :0)
Whew! Not sure where all this came from this morning. Perhaps due to last night ending with a great life-designing convo with a close friend, a heartfelt “thank you” email received from a stranger in Australia who I helped get through a dark time in her life 3 years ago, and capped off with a decent slug of fine Kentucky Bourbon shown top-left.
It’s amazing what sharing our own life experiences can do for someone else. I don’t say this to toot my own horn (for my friends know I’m not a tooter – well, in a completely different context sometimes it happens). No, I say this to encourage each of you to give it a try – strip off that mask and share – and go after those fears!